7 Million!

Oh shit I almost fell right out of the chair. How the fuck can C's SA go from 37 million to 7 million in the span of 1 year? Everything up to that moment sounded great, My PCOS had been downgraded to mild, my anitibodies were elevated but I tested negative for anti-phospholipid antibodies and elevated NKC. The little bit of scar tissue she found was removed in the sonohystereogram she preformed and my uterus anatomy was normal. Just as I thought that we might actually be moving forward and toward an August IVF date the other shoe dropped. The rest of the appointment was a blur - genetic testing for cystic fibrosis, hormone level bloodwork for C, DNA fragmentation for C and another dreaded SA. A suppliment suggestion and she even gave him some samples (enough for 4 days) (thank god for T and her stash). We have to return in 2 months and I never even remembered when the appointment is, I left C to book it all, I was just in a haze of fog and utter disbelief. I cried all the way home, the thought of pushing back the dates yet again just set another dig of disapointment our way. C is upset he got very angry with me in the car on the way home, the pendulum has shifted, for years it was ME that was the cause, me that had to change my habits, my lifestyle, my body, my thinking, personality, I was the reason for our infertility.. I sat in the car and had to choke back the words (I told you so), like a 3 year old would, if only he would listen when I said please wear boxers, don't sit in a hot tub, stop drinking 5 cups of coffee, watch the rye, hot pj's, pants, jeans, etc etc, take your vitamins, .. but being on the receiving end of that for so long, had I said those words, would make me a hypocrite. Mom called when we had almost reached the front door to put life back into perspective for us, and tell me that her biopsy results were in and that her appointment was at 4, I am just not sure how ready I am to hear these results either.