The Naked Truth

When it comes to blogging my thoughts and emotions, I write what is going on in my head right at that moment. I started this blog to chronicle C and I's struggles in babyquest, thinking I could write a few slightly personal, general blogs and hoped we would already be working on our past struggles with IF and now curently pregnant (particularly after the first positive pregnancy). My mistake, I told god my plans, he must have thought this was funny, so here I am. Writing again a snapshot in time, my posts have definitely moved from the chronicle (this is what you can expect side) to something much more raw and emotional than originally planned. I want to thank you all for your well wishes and hugs. This journey has been and continues to be the most painful and thought consuming process I have ever experienced. I must apologize to C for my last post, it was somewhat written in anger, frustration and annoyance.. the end result was that he came off cold and calus. In reading it in morning light with a cooler head I thought of editing it. but then I am reminded that I am chronicalling everything Mood swings bitchyness and all. It stays. C and I had the chance today to discuss the thought of counselling and getting help. which he is really encouraging me to do. The medication is not what he wants because he sees the bad side of these meds. I think he is being somewhat judgemental on the subject, but I have to agree that I don't want to take a medication if I can avoid it. I called the naturopath tonight and she is working on something for me for the depression. I have also decided to look up my local IAAC chapter and look for some support this way. I am a little more optimistic. C has been taking at least half the dose of his suppliments and I see a huge improvement already. I hope that his next tests are all clear. On the mom front - She had her surgeon appointment today where the Dr. explained that she has Invasive Ductile Carcinoma , the most common form of breast cancer. The cure rate is high and she is going in on Friday for a lumpectomy. The Dr. thinks that the lumps are close enough together to take a section of the breast as oppposed to a mastectomy. My mom is relieved. As per her age as well she will most likely not be having chemotherapy, but instead will be having radiation. She won't know what stage her cancer is at until after the lumps are removed and then alayzed. She will also have a lymphectomy from her underarm area as well. After the appointment today my mom celebrated her small victory with a few beers. Now this is the entertaining moment, my mother sitting accross the table from C while he cheers her on to chug-a-lug .. There is no trailer... I swear.